Kayla Itsines 12 Week BBG Diary Week 5: Take Two—F**k Apologies

This is one of a series of posts that are part of my Kayla Itsines 12 Week BBG Diary. Click here to read my first post, Kayla Itsines 12 Week BBG Diary Weeks 1 & 2: An Unconventional Start. I am completing the Kayla Itsines 12 Week Bikini Body Guide (known online as BBG 1) and blogging about my experience and other related stuff along the way. I’ve been following the community for ages and have completed exercises from the guide before but never finished an entire 12 weeks. Hoping to get to know fellow BBGers and have a laugh along the way. If you are so inclined, follow me on Instagram and Snapchat (username: sydjournalist) for updates 😀. 

I was going to start this post apologising. I was going to reflect on the goals I set last week, discuss how I went about achieving them and then set about rationalising my actions—essentially apologising for not doing things perfectly and then affirming, more to myself than anyone else, why it was OK that I didn’t dot my i’s and cross my t’s. What really matters is that I am taking small steps toward progress, right? Don’t I always say, done is better than perfect?

WELL TODAY I SAY NAY. F**k apologies. F**k them right off.

I don’t reject the idea that done is better than perfect, it is an important life motto of mine and one I will share in more detail in a future post. I DO reject the impulse to explain why it is OK that I did not do things perfectly. Those “things” usually being guidelines I set up myself anyway.

I had an epiphany, it is a waste of energy.

Apologising for not living up to my own idea of perfection, or anyone else’s is a WASTE OF ENERGY and I will not do it. I am not perfect and since ideas of perfection are subjective and constantly changing, I never will be. Actually, I don’t WANT to be.

Let me give a concrete example here. During my first attempt at BBG Week 5 (BBG Week 5 Take One), I determine that for my second attempt (BBG Week Five Take Two) I wanted to complete each circuit on the days suggested by the guide (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). Did I? No. I completed Legs & Cardio on Monday but did not get to Abs & Arms until Friday night. It was on Sunday that I completed the full body circuit. Now I don’t actually care that I completed the circuits this way, truly I don’t. So why was I going to begin this post rationalising my actions?

A petty example but indicative of something I am sure we all do, from shallow to deeper levels. Internally and externally. We feel the need to apologise and rationalise who we are and what we do.

When we put ourselves in the spotlight, however narrow and dim it is, we feel even more compelled to externalise apologies and rationalisations. Why are we apologising for things on Instagram when said apologies would normally not even make it to our personal journals?

This brings me to the circumstances that triggered my epiphany.

I was on Instagram scrolling away, double tapping awesome pics by all you inspirational BBG girls when suddenly I came across a spate of apologetic posts. “Sorry this isn’t tranformation Tuesday….better late than never right?”, “Sorry about my cat in the background”, “I haven’t been posting for awhile because I felt pressured to post something perfect and felt like everything I had wasn’t good enough. Sorry. I realise you guys like my content regardless”. These quotes are not verbatim but you get the gist. Then there were the Instagram VS Reality pics. “Don’t let Instagram rule your life”, “See we are all human, don’t fall for Instagram illusion”. PLEASE KNOW, I am not mocking anyone OR discrediting Instagram VS Reality posts—they are awesome. In fact, the people whose posts I mentioned above are amazing online presences (I am not talking solely about follower counts) girls and guys that I think are great—they don’t need to apologise, they shouldn’t feel like their content is not good enough. Indeed, there is a difference between wanting to get better and apologising for maybe not being good enough. You are. Be you and enjoy life I say!

What disturbs me is the fact that we are apologising about things we shouldn’t be. Indeed, some Instagram VS Reality posts read like an apology for not being insta-perfect. WHY ARE WE SORRY? WE ARE ALWAYS RATIONALISING WHY IT IS OK NOT TO BE PERFECT? Why are we letting an app, AN APP, set standards. We set the standards. Collectively and personally, as people. I am not the first, nor will I be the last to say this.

I am not anti-social media. I am anti fake shit. Anti-apologising for dumb shit. Anti living for a double tap.

I am pro connecting and being inspired by amazing people. Pro sharing certain aspects of my life for aforementioned reasons. Pro having fun, seeing cool shit and getting ideas.

No more apologies. If you have made it this far I ask you to take this pledge with me. The next time I write a blog or IG post I will reread it. If I am apologising for something I shouldn’t be, rationalising something that I wouldn’t usually, then I will change the post. I’ll just be me and you just be you. Why would be ever need to apologise for being ourselves? #takebackthegram #iftherearetrollsblockthosefools

If you are reading this and still wondering how Week 5 Take Two of my BBG program went. I will state the facts (without apologising or rationalising, heh).

Finding motivation and energy to workout was tough, I have been feeling off and am due for my monthlies. I indulged in sweets, at least once overly so. I completed all my workouts and am proud to have done so. I planned to eat two veggie-heavy meals and did so. Some real reflection is needed to determine why I have been feeling more run down and tired than usual (too much coffee, not enough sleep, returned anaemia —the usual culprits I suspect).

I look forward to Week 6, I expect imperfection. Indeed, since I am not perfect I will probably needlessly apologise and rationalise again. Lucky I have you guys to remind me of my solemn oath *giggles*.

Over and out.

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